For various reasons, today is not a good day and I have found myself slipping into that downward spiral that my depression is so good at exploiting. So… time to weigh things up and appreciate what I have.
But first, let’s get the negatives out of the way:
NEGATIVES (in no particular order)
- I am unemployed
- We have very little money coming in and struggle to make it through the month
- My health (both mental and physical) is poor
- The health of my wife and children is also not very good
- The house needs work doing on it I can’t afford
- The house is a mess and I am a lousy househusband
- My daughter has had to deal with shit that no child should have to deal with and we’re all still heavily caught up in the consequences of it.
POSITIVES (in no particular order)
- I love my wife and my two children and, as far as I know, they love me back.
- I have always wanted to write and now have 3 novels, two short story collections and 1 stand-alone short story available for people to buy and another novel I’m currently working on with a US small publisher – and people DO buy (not enough to bring in any useful money but it’s not all about that) and what’s more the reviews so far have always been good!
- My daughter is a talented writer herself (even at 14) and I have already co-written one short story with her (available in the collection Interludes). She also is pretty amazing on piano.
- My son is a talented musician and I am lucky enough to work with him as The 1850 Project – our first full length album, The Family, has just been released and is available through iTunes and others.
- While my health may be poor I am still alive and not dying (at least no more than everyone else).
- Both my children are academically bright as well as being talented creatively and are capable of doing anything they want, as long as they put the effort into it.
- Did I mention I love my wife?
- I don’t have a lot of friends, but those I do are very good friends and I know I can rely on them in a crisis.
That’s all off the top of my head (no pre-planning in this blog) and I think, on the whole, most people would agree that the positives outweigh the negatives – so I don’t really have any excuse for feeling like I do at the moment and hopefully writing this blog will make me realise that.
This blog has been a cathartic exercise. If you have read this far, thank you for putting up with it 🙂